This year didn’t teach me how to write faster.
It didn’t teach me how to publish more.
It didn’t teach me how to push through at all costs.
What it taught me was quieter—and far more important.
It taught me how to keep writing without burning myself out.
This year has been a lot.
Between moving, finishing college, and the slow creep of burnout, writing hasn’t felt easy—or joyful—the way it once did. I’ve struggled not just to write, but to want to write, and that loss of enjoyment has been one of the hardest parts.
My health hasn’t helped. Over the last few months, ongoing GI issues and chronic pain have taken a real toll on my body and energy. When you’re already exhausted, pain doesn’t just affect your physical limits—it seeps into your creativity, your focus, and your sense of self.
Depression followed quietly but persistently. It made even small tasks feel heavy. Showing up for my website. Working on my own stories. Doing the things I care deeply about—all of it took more effort than I expected, and more time than I hoped.
On top of that, I work a full-time job. Juggling work, health, school transitions, and creative goals has been overwhelming at times. The constant pressure of doing everything every day adds up, and I’ve felt that weight deeply this year.
For a long time, I believed that writing had to look a certain way to “count.”
Daily word counts. Streaks. Deadlines that didn’t bend. If I wasn’t pushing, I felt like I was failing.
This year gently dismantled that belief.
Consistency Isn’t the Same as Pressure
I learned that showing up doesn’t mean forcing myself to perform on days when my body or mind is struggling.
Some days, showing up looked like:
- Writing a single paragraph
- Jotting down a character note
- Revising one sentence
- Or simply opening the document and sitting with it
- Or just reading
Consistency, for me, became about returning—not producing.
And that shift changed everything.
Writing Is Cyclical, Not Linear
There were weeks when ideas poured out effortlessly.
There were months when silence felt heavy.
Instead of panicking during the quiet periods, I started listening.
Creativity has seasons:
- Growth
- Rest
- Integration
- Renewal
This year taught me that rest isn’t a failure—it’s part of the process. Stories don’t disappear when we pause. They deepen.
Hustle Culture Lies About Worth
One of the hardest lessons was unlearning the idea that my value as a writer depended on productivity.
I didn’t write less because I was lazy.
I wrote differently because I was human.
Writing through illness, chronic pain, emotional weight, and real life required softness—not discipline sharpened into a weapon.
Letting go of hustle allowed me to:
- Write with more honesty
- Choose projects intentionally
- Protect my creative energy
Small Work Still Matters
Some of the most meaningful writing I did this year never turned into polished pieces.
It lived in:
- Journal pages
- Half-finished drafts
- Voice notes
- Fragmented scenes
And yet, that work mattered.
Those fragments are seeds.
Those pages are proof.
Those quiet moments are where stories begin.
Writing as a Relationship, Not a Demand
The biggest lesson of all?
I didn’t give up.
I slowed down.
I took longer than planned.
I rested when I needed to—even when it felt uncomfortable or disappointing.
Progress didn’t always look like momentum. Sometimes it looked like survival. Sometimes it looked like patience. Sometimes it looked like choosing not to quit when everything felt heavier than it should.
Writing doesn’t have to be something I chase.
It can be something I return to.
When I stopped demanding results from myself, writing became safer again.
More honest.
More mine.
Moving Forward, Gently
I’m not leaving this year with a promise to “do more.”
I’m leaving it with permission to:
- Write slower
- Rest without guilt
- Trust my process
- Create in ways that honor my life instead of fighting it
I’m still here.
My stories are still here.
And my love for writing—even when it’s quiet—hasn’t disappeared.
It’s just resting. And that’s okay.
Happy Writing ^_^



